Sunday, May 23, 2010

Death and Bologna

I tried to kill myself again last night but once again I didn’t get it right. The conversation went a little something like this…

Me: I thought you were dead?!
Myself: Well, I’m here aren’t I?!
I: Better luck next time.

The facts:
I took a grenade and put it in my mouth. Then I swallowed it whole with a glass of ice cold chocolate Ovaltine.

And I waited…
My tummy started to hurt but nothing. I forgot to pull the pin.
And I waited…
But my stomach acid never dissolved the pin.

So here I am. And I am dreading going to the bathroom.
Thinking it might be like passing a kidney stone or giving birth.
I guess I will find out soon enough when the laxatives kick in.




Behind the scenes of Death and Bologna…
Here is the context, the backdrop, the author’s notes.






We are killing ourselves as a species.
Sometimes with precision accuracy, we take ourselves out one by one.
Sometimes with artistic brushstrokes, we knock each other down like well placed rows of dominoes.

And once in a while, though as rare as a four leafed clover, I find myself wrapped within a moment of clarity.

For instance…my heart is broken that the bayou saltwater farmers have to watch their little shrimps die two-by-two by two-by-four, by the millions maybe more.

And yet I drive my SUV on the highways and byways and rarely do I connect the dots.

I too am as guilty as you in contributing to our demise. So I have decided to take myself out as part of my contribution to the betterment of our society and for the overall health and wellbeing of our planet.