Friday, April 30, 2010

Survival Kit




I think I could survive on my own for quite some time if I just had a hacksaw, a box of Twinkies, and a pickle jar.

My foot is now castified and it itches.  I have never in my life worn a cast and although it is a nice designer black color to match just about everything I could want to wear, I have no clean clothes and no where to go.  Plus I can’t drive on pain medication, at least not with a good clean conscious.

I seldom watch television, it is mindless entertainment.  Now it is my one and only true best friend.  Me and my TV, BFFs forever yo!

Without a remote I am a hostage to some channel I have never seen before and I think I am trapped within some sort of infomercial.

Have I died?  Am I in hell?  Why do my lips taste salty? Have I been crying?

Just kidding, all is well…

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Oobi-doobey-doo, where are you?

Blessed are those of us who from time to time are able to see the world through the eyes of a child!



When the world seems overly complicated, annoyingly complex, concurrently catastrophic, or even obscure in an opaque context...just remember that what we see is what we get.


Our perception is just that…perception only…and if you can not feel me you have been wearing the same old pair of glasses for far too long. Trust me; they may not be as rose colored as you think. In the immortal words of Andre 3000, perhaps you need to “lean a little closer and see that roses really smell like boo boo.”



And what is the opposite of “boo boo?” That my friend is a philosophical question that is quite frankly out of my league. I do, however, know what sound is the opposite of “boo boo.” Can you say “Oobi?!”



No one ever wants to admit that they look at the world through “boo boo” colored glasses and in my case I have already set up an alternative universe that guarantees my ability to use the defense of plausible deniability.



For instance, today I was feeling kind of a lighter shade of blue because my little Merlin wanted to climb and wrestle and tickle and fight. Trust me; hearts were broken when I said “daddy can’t…”



How does a pre-toddler come to fully understand such challenging concepts as casts and crutches and elevation and ice?



Who knows, but these are the kinds of things that roll through my mind while racing up and down the aisles at Wal-Mart in my high speed grocery cart go-cart kind of wheelchair on wheels.



[Yes, I go to Wal-Mart just to get out of the house and ride around in a motorized shopping cart…I also go to the local hospital and get in a wheelchair and ride around visiting random strangers just so a nurse or occasional security guard can ask “how are you?” with genuine sympathy in their voice.]



Today in my draconian adventures to this “outside world” I found a bag of assorted Styrofoam balls ($1.39) and some goo-goo-goo-glee eyes ($1.29).



If you haven’t guessed the moral of this story by now, I went home and made an Oobi for Micah and an Oobi for me, then the Oobi for Mathias was to made to make three.



What a brighter world one sees when looking through the eyes of Oobi. Einstein did after all say that imagination was more important than intelligence.