Capriciously Conspicuous

Conspiracy theory or theoretical constipation?

Preemptive Note: I have always preferred the British spelling of the word “honour.”

Follow my logic if you will.  When a hero falls on the battlefield, sometimes they are honored with a 21 gun salute.  Now listen up, here is where the math gets tricky.  Seven soldiers fire rounds into the air three times.  Three times seven is of course twenty-one, plus the seven soldiers equals twenty-eight.  Subtract the one dead hero and what do you get?

Twenty-seven!

Twenty-seven and it all makes sense.  I was twenty-seven once so I know what I’m talking about. I was also a soldier. And to my children, I am indeed a hero. So listen up…

First, Jimi Hendrix died much too young.  He was twenty-seven.

The following year, Janis Joplin also died much too young.  She was twenty-seven.

And later that same year, Jim Morrison also also died much too young.  He was twenty-seven.

Now here comes the leap but I know you can make it.  Strawberries are the fruit of love because they are bittersweet like love.  I love strawberries and I also love Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison.

And now the landing.  Twenty-seven has always been my favorite number.  Now I know why.  It is because twenty-seven is like love or a bowl of strawberries.  It is bittersweet.

Finally, as an added bonus:  In numerology, three is a magic number.  Three is in fact a factor of twenty-seven.  In this very mad rambling I start one of my paragraphs off with a fragment of a sentence.  It is followed by three complete sentences.  In each of these three sentences I disclose one true fact about myself.  Three total: 1) I was 27 once; 2) I was a soldier once, and; 3) to my children I am a hero.

So how many bullets are fired from each individual rifle during a twenty-one gun salute?  If you know the answer to this question you will also know how many children I have.

Three!

And in conclusion, I just ate nine Oreo cookies. And, nine times three takes us back to twenty-seven.

p.s. This is the end, my friend.

p.s.s. In the Jimi, Janice, and Jim sentences I use the word also three times.  Three times three times three is also twenty-seven. Thus I have once again also proven my point.

p.s.s.s. When your strange, faces come out of the rain.