In the Ride Line, Waiting

I remember when I was seven years old and was waiting in line for the roller coaster at the state fair. There was a boy my age that was a quadriplegic and when our eyes met I had an experience that I can not describe. To say that I was terribly saddened by the experience would be to try to put a label on something that I am not sure is possible to label.

The world changed. My eyes were opened. For every child I saw laughing and playing, I knew there was another child somewhere that was suffering. I have to warn you, when your eyes are opened to suffering you begin to see it everywhere. I lost countless nights of sleep and was labeled “troubled” by various medical professionals of the psychiatric persuasion. Thankfully I was not given medication. I would discover that on my own a few years later.

When I was born there was something wrong with my legs. I had this whole Forest Gump thing going on where I had to wear braces, but they were not independent of one another. My legs were bolted together by the ankles and it really was painful…not physically, but spiritually and psychologically. To be a toddler and unable to walk while all the other kids around you danced and played. At the time it was the most horrific experience of my life (mind you, I was only 3ish).

I understood the boy’s pain; it was the first time I felt connected to the human race. I understood his pain and I could not see any hope for his future. My only experience was my loss of legs, and it was only temporary. He lost all of his mobility and it was permanent.

Everything changed. When I felt hungry (a common experience when you grow up poor), I was connected to all of the children that were dying of starvation. When I was hit, I was connected to all of the children that were in some way abused.

Being connected to all humanity can be debilitating for some. It shut me down for many years. But I am human and I am resilient and there are forces of good at work amidst the darkness.

Being connected to all humanity means being responsible for one another. Responsibility can be seen as a burden by some, me included for much of my adult life. I now see responsibility as a privilege and an honor.

I no longer know where I was headed with this line of thinking. Can you finish my thoughts for me?